At some point or another in our day to day lives we’ve all reached a point where we just didn’t feel as though we were heard. I can remember it like it was yesterday telling my mother how bad my menstrual cycle was hurting me and her response was, “You’ll be ok.” And in fact I would, but in that moment I just didn’t feel as though I was and a huge part of that was not feeling that she really in truly heard my cry. The cry that said my tummy needed to be rubbed. Or maybe I just needed a little time and attention to know that my cry mattered. I believe all across the world we have all ran into these types of experiences whether it be the one that I had experienced or not, we’re all just on the discovery to be heard. Whether we recognize it or not, we all are on the hunt to find what understands what we already feel in dept of our Inner self. Whether we’re on a ocean watching the tide roll all the way until we can see no longer or whether it’s by our hairstyle, the way we dress, the cars we drive, etc. I think that the feelings that we get when we do these things or the little small voice inside of our heads when we go these places is what desires to be felt and heard the most. The things that we tend to keep the closest in our hearts are the very ones that would set us free if someone just heard it. Growing up a little black child in poverty a lot of times I felt as though we were being brainwashed to believe that our opinion never mattered because our parents had gone through what they have gone through and saw a little results to no results, and our ancestors had survived what they had to in order to survive. But they never were given a choice. And today we’re all just one choice away from a totally different life if we stay with it long enough. But they always did what they had to do instead of being able to freely express themselves in a way that was able to make a real difference in their minds and in their lives. So do I blame the ones who never hear our cry no because no one ever heard theirs. Our parents and ancestors were always taught to make sacrifices to make sure that all our needs were met even if that meant sacrifice and their happiness. And so, many of them were lead to believe that this is the only way. That the ultimate goal was just to make sure that we all survived but never to be heard and be all that God has called us to be. I couldn’t imagine being alive during the time of the civil rights movement’s when they were forced not to say a word or be punished. I have experienced today due to my families cycle not being broken and it is one of the most painful experiences having to reverse and retrain our minds and thoughts after being told it isn’t valuable or ignored or “hushed up”. They were beating for expressing their opinions. They were killed for learning how to read and write. (Be heard) They were raped by their owners and told to never speak about it. Down to the voting rights, were forced to believe that their viewpoints and their rights just did not matter. The only reason for their existence was just to do their jobs as they were told, listen, and to survive. We were taught we didn’t have a right to an opinion from the very start, and now we’re all here years later, even successful ones and the not so successful ones still crying to be heard. Whether it’s having to fight a silent battle through depression, mental illnesses, abandonment, running away children, social media, books, etc. The only difference between now and then is we’re all just one choice a way from a totally different life. Be heard however you need to just make sure you’re freedom comes after it.
There’s a difference between being loved until you were 18 and being raised until you were 18. A lot starts from within our homes. If we be honest a lot of us were loved but not raised. It is not the same. And a lot of us are in a deepened struggle today because we’ve experienced deep affection all our lives like love, but we never were exposed to being elevated or raised to a higher level or more intense way of living. That’s what being raised consist of. I can love you but still keep you in the same place for 100 years. But by guiding you and raising you you have no choice but to choose different and be elevated to a higher position in life. Once we understand that love requires more than just clothes on our backs, and food on the table, and a roof over our heads and start to do more raising & constructing then maybe as a result we will see more children able to be grown adults and not still kids in an adult body and more children able to grow and take care of their families and parents when they get older like it’s supposed to be.
Being successful can be overwhelming at times. It is very necessary to work at loving yourself through the mistakes. Even the one’s you knew you should’ve known better. Its life… It’s okay to be inexperienced and make mistakes, they help us to grow too ya know. One thing I can’t stand is somebody who came from a little now they have a lot but all they can do is brag on themselves. People have created this image of being successful as always being in the limelight. Without showing the well rounded example of life and what it really means to live it. Real success is being constantly inspired to grow and learn because you know someone is paying more attention to the things you do vs. the things you choose to flaunt and worship other then the most high. I knew exactly what J.Cole meant when he said “Think Being Broke Was Better”. There’s so much beauty in the struggle, you know darkness, you know pain, you know rejection, you know hunger, and most importantly you know God. But soon as you’ve gotten up you quick to put the next down because they not where you at.
We all have a perspective right?? And before you scream “she hating” I am far from a hater. But I’ve seen this top photo over 100 times already all over social media networks and quite frankly I am a little disgusted, offended, and embarrassed. Reason being because in a world that seems to be moving backwards is this what it has come to? With how much our culture goes through is this the only way we feel strong? The only way we feel we have a voice? The only way we feel validated like we matter? Are we really only defined by likes, shares, and publicizing our temple for the world to see? No really? Some will say it’s just work or it’s just a picture, but I mourn equally if not more the amount for our AA females who believe that this is what we “HAVE TO” do. We already have it hard enough! We are so much more than our hips, and our thighs, and our cosmetics that cost $200+ to make us feel accepted. The way we view and value ourselves has yet to improve in essence of respect for ourselves because this top photo is what gets worshipped over the bottom. Do we really hate ourselves this much? And as you start to really know who you are – (who we are) because we are in this together you mourn for our sisters. We are so much more than our sexuality and our servitude! The bottom photo is a picture that never went viral! And there is still something equally important and powerful about it. But it’s something quietly powerful. It’s liberating to see us all fully clothed and still successful but just for our intellect and how we carry ourselves. We are not played out we just have to change the way we view ourselves all together first before anyone else can. There’s nothing wrong with being sexy but do it in a form of class and in a way that makes you feel whole inside. Not the way that makes you feel holes inside. We want our young girls to grow up and be powerful leaders but how? When this is all we glorify, men included! I refuse for my child to see the top photo as leading the way! The ladies on this other photo have started their own organization for (us) AAs called The Black Ivy Pre-Law Society. Which seeks to provide it’s members with resources for academic, professional and mentorship development. All young Lawyers. What has this top photo done for you other than make you lust after one, see yourself different like you have to measure up, or just proud because you are defined the same way with media attention? Ladies we gotta get to the point where we want to be more than just accepted. 😔 I say this all with love but I am so tired of us doing this to ourselves. So tired. I don’t want my nieces or daughters to grow up and be this way. I feel fully unclothed and scarred just from looking at this picture and being a AA woman in the world. We must be the help that we all need!